So here it a little post to get things started up.
Hm....what has been going on in my life...
There are many things I have learned and I am growing in but right now I want to talk about the attitude of my heart.
The attitude of my heart can be in a constant battle at times. To pursue a realtionship with Christ, and to draw near to him means I need to have a desire, and sometimes that desire is not there, it is absent. There are points where I just want to give up, to give up the race and quit. Sometimes I am tired, tired of growing, tired of always putting in an effort, sometimes I just want to live a normal life, a life where I wouldn't know God or be in relationship with him so I wouldn't have to be pursuing and putting in that effort. I want to be naive and follow the wordly desires of my life. But then, what life would it be if I didn't have my Lord in my life? One with no purpose, no hope, no joy in difficulties. It is in these moments that I want to give up that I have to surrender. Surrender of doing things my way, surrender my attitude and give it to the Lord, because I cannot have this desire to want to grow in intimacy with my Saviour by myself. It is here that the Lord gives me strength to carry on and to help change the attitude of my heart. I have never had this problem in my mind of quitting before Kaleo, and the more time I spend here at college, the more it is reoccurring- I am not saying though that this is a very common occurrence - but I think that it is a struggle that a Christ-follower will probably have to face at some point if they want to keep walking with the Lord and deepening that relationship. Even though all of this is true, I feel that I have an assurance. Even when I feel like quitting I have this assurance that I won't quit. I never doubt that I will leave my faith and my Lord, and I am no theologian but I feel this is because of the Spirit residing within me.
The battle of the attitude of my heart.
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