The End

Hello! Well, sorry I haven't updated lately. To say the least graduation was incredible filled with many tears. I cried more during that grad than I did for my highschool one which many of the people I had spent 12 years with. That just shows how our common factor, Christ, creates such a deeper connection. After Grad my family hiked Mt. Tzouhalem (which took 3 1/2 hours instead of 1 and a half), we dropped my dad off in Victoria at the airport, and then headed to Ukee. We spent two days there and went surfing with Surf Sisters. My brother loved it, and I stood up on my board! We drove back to Victoria on Wednesday and then flew out and here I am back at home again. So this is the testimony I told for my Easter Sunday church service at my church in Leader:

This last year I have been on Vancouver Island doing a program called Kaleo through Briercrest. To explain what has happened this year could not be put into mere words, but nevertheless, I can say it has been life-changing. This year has been transforming. It has been foundational. It has made be more of who I truly am that I ever have before.

This year we were told would be a year of Grace. At first none of really saw it or how this grace would appear, but when we look back we see grace upon grace upon grace. Grace is something undeserved,. It is something good given or done for someone who does not deserve it. God’s grace to us is the biggest display of grace to exist, but I have also seen grace this year being displayed through people.

It has been a hard year, filled with difficulties. Our community was lacking at times which is a vital part of Kaleo, and before Christmas break had ended four people left us. Grace showed itself though, once again.

During second semester, one of the Kaleo guys, Kwon, was kicked out due to some misconduct. The day he left was very hard on our community, with lots of tears. But that day for him, was a day that his heart started to changed. Over a mission trips to Mexico and a few other events, this guy finally realized what he needed to do, and he began to transform and surrender himself to God. The leadership decided to let him back into the program, a complete display of grace, and he came to us with a changed heart., a new creation. Grace was evident so strongly through Kwon.

Jim, our leader was ‘dismissed’ by the camp who helps run Kaleo, so his year with us would be his last year leading Kaleo. This created a lot of bitterness in us, myself included. It came into perspective though that I had to let go of my bitterness when my leader Jim said to one of my roommates, “bitterness is a choice”, and he himself chose not to be bitter towards the camp. I was finally able to let go of my bitterness. At the end of the year I found a verse that fit this perfectly, See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." ~Hebrews 12:15

Jim gave us many model examples of how grace should be used.

During two of my classes, we were asked the question, “What are you learning to love?”

I am learning to love Community. Christians are not meant to be independent. Even though this is contrary to our culture, it is the life that Christians are meant to live. Community was an important part of the early church, and it should also be now. My Kaleo community showed me how this community is supposed to look like by encouraging, loving, exhorting, and even gently rebuking one another. It was an example of how believers of Christ should live.

I am learning to love the gospel in its entirety, from Genesis to Revelation. I am learning that the Old Testament, also known as the Old Covenant, plays such an important role in the gospel, and wouldn’t be complete without it. I have also learned to go to scripture, and see what it says about the life I should live. A life of obedience, servitude, and even submission. A counter-cultural life.

I am learning to love social justice. Social justice is something that the Church has been somewhat lacking in the past. We are very blessed here in North America, and in Luke 12:48 it says, “to whom much is given, much is required”. I have opened my eyes, and decided not to turn away from what is happening in my own country and in the world. I have started to take the step to look upon the face of poverty, and even though it may be painful, I have Christ to sustain me and take me through this journey. God has given me the love to love these people, who are real human beings just like us. I have also learned that social justice and the gospel need to be in balance with one another. There shouldn’t be one without the other. The Bible is filled with acts, commands, and calls out for social justice, they cannot be ignored. Also, social justice without the gospel is empty. I do realize that “the poor will always be with us” but I know that there is also hope. This hope and the LORD that keeps me going to fight for social justice, to help those who aren’t able to help themselves.

This year has been incredible and I couldn’t imagine spending it any other way. The people I have grown in community with, my Kaleo, are not like family to me, they are family. When I think each of them tears comes to eyes, tears to have to leave them, but also joy and delight to see how far they have come, and I am excited to see how God will use them. I have barely scratched the surface but hopefully I have given a glimpse into what has been happening in my life.

Chapter 27: Transatlanticism

Hello once again and maybe once more.
Well here I sit, in my last week of Kaleo.
Last week we went surfing in Tofino/Ucluelet and then when to Mt.Washington to go snowboarding for a day. Both were incredible. Of course, I got a wetsuit rash on my neck again...not as bad as last time though. I really enjoyed Mt.Washington, the snow was slushy and so lovely. Also, the Snowbirds were at Comox, and we could see them from Mt.Washington (I even saw them make a heart! How cute).

This week we went up to Mt. Washington again to the chalet we rented out previously for a retreat. It was really sweet to just hang out with everyone (since the ski hill was closed for the week, because it is only open on weekends now). I'll admit though it was rough. Really rough. I have come to realize I am so fragile, and I think I lost a best friend in the process. At least I got a poem out of it. I think though that I did need to be broken, I just feel like it wasn't the best of timing, but I know God does know what the best is for me. To me, the last few days have been pain, and hurt. I have also realized that I need freedom. I am sick of living in my sin, it has consumed me and has become an addiction for me. During our chapel at Mt.Washington we were supposed to pick a name that would help everyone remember what to pray for that person. I picked Freedom. Freedom from my sin. I know I have victory in Christ, and I can conquer my sin through Christ. I don't want to be enslaved to it any longer, I want freedom. Tomorrow, if everything goes as planned, I am going to share in detail my sin with my intern. Which will be hard, because it is something I have struggled with for years but have never told anyone. But I don't want the devil to hold this against me anymore, I want freedom. So please be praying for me.

I will try to post once more, but I don't know if I will. Saturday is our graduation, and Sunday we leave. It will be hard but in some ways I am excited to get out into the world and start being the light and salt of the world.
I will leave you with this verse and a link to a poem. The verse has made me realize that I have no reason to be bitter towards camp. It was my pride and loyalty that was causing my bitterness, and I have to realize that as a follower of Christ, I cannot hold bitterness, and my loyalty must first lie with the kingdom of God.
"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." ~Hebrews 12:15

Now for the poem, don't worry, I am fine, but I was just trying to control my emotions. So here it is:

I am fragile.

My heart a shell stranded on the seashore

Shattered by just one reckless touch

When held by human hands.

When the heart shatters,

there is nothing left to contain the tears.

When the floodgate fails it breaks forth,

with fragments of shell carried in its surge.

Tears are not precious as diamonds anymore.

By its bounty,

I sell them as dirt-cheap wares

to those who pick up my fragile heart.

Vast as an ocean,

and yet reduced to a shell on another shore.

Chapter 26: What Are You Learning to Love?

Let me first say, the Lord is good! I just feel so undeserving of the constant blessing he has been pouring on me. I do not know if this is good or bad but I never ask for God to bless me, I feel like I am as I said, undeserving but when I think of others I think they should be blessed before me because of how God has blessed me so richly so far. Although, I am realizing that it is the ones who appear the least-blessed or poor in the eyes of the world who are truly blessed. Their character is shaped more Christ-like than I could ever be. They have become so relient on God and trust him completely. It is in their helplessness that they depend on him, because they can't depend on materialism, science or technology. That is truly being blessed. This is completely described in Matthew 5 with the Beautitudes. I do feel like I need to learn to accept God's gift to me, but it just seems hard when there are people out there who need God's blessings so much more than me. I also mean this blessing in the sense of home life, family, and friends.
Anyways, wow, I totally went on a ramble there. So... (drum roll please) I got a bursary! I would like to say scholarship, but it is not dependent on my academics. Nevertheless, Briercrest has given me the Karsgaard Heritage Foundation Bursary, which is $1300. Incredible! I was actually doubting I would get anything, but I was wrong I guess. haha.
Well, our last class of Kaleo is done. We took Studies in Christian Worldview with Cal Macfarlane. You may recognize this name from the beginning of the year, Cal taught our Spiritual Formation also. The class was a lot of philsophy. We learned about Modernism, Postmodernism, and Creational Reality. To be honest, I always thought I would love philosophy but I was wrong. It is not that I don't like it, it is just that I am not very good at it. I got the ideas in general but it seems I cannot get the full grasp of the ideas presented. When I wrote the exam though I realized that I did learn a lot from the class, and it was cool to learn about Postmodernism because we talked about it in Church Ministry.
Kaleo is over in two weeks. We have some wonderful things planned like surfing at Tofino and snowboarding at Mt. Washington, and just time to relax. This year is what it is, I think our group dynamics have been different than most years but I love these people nevertheless. It will be a sad day to say goodbye to them, especially the fact that I might not see some of them ever again, but I do have a peace about leaving. I am enjoying my time here but I am excited to get out in the world, and especially back to my community.
I feel like my blessing section made no sense, I apologize, haha.