Chapter 14: Let Other Pens Dwell on Guilt and Misery

Well another week has passed at home. With less than a week left at home it is crazy to think that I will be back at Kaleo so soon! At times I feel like I am still in high school on Christmas vacation, I seem to forget that I am a college student now and that I am doing Kaleo, it sometimes seems surreal to me.

On another note, I had two large Christmas with both sides of the family -the Elsassers and Jassmans. I really do love seeing my family as family has played a large role in my life. Even though, I do enjoy them more as I get older but for some reason by the end of the night, I want to leave. I am trying to work on that and I think at my Jassman Christmas I didn't have the best attitude.

Overall, nothing has really happened in the last week, and to be honest, I am rather glad. It has been slow-paced and relaxing, I haven't accomplished as much as I would like to though. I did finish the book, Mansfield Park, which I was excited to finish. I am watching the movie right now and frankly, it doesn't match the words of Jane Austen. haha.

Well that is all for now.

Chapter 13: What Would Anyone Need to Be Saved From?

Well it is Christmas holidays, and I am finally back at home.

Last Tuesday Mike, Nate and I took the same flight home... well they continued onto Ontario while I got off in Calgary. They were great plane-mates if I do say so myself.

After my parents picked me up from the airport we went to my dad's Aunt's house for the night in Airdrie. In the morning we then went to Ambrose University College for a tour of the place. Something that has really been a big decision is where I am going next year. I am trying to keep it open for God to work in my life, and I want to be willing to let him make plans in my life, so I am not going to be definite in my decision but I am deciding between Ambrose and Briercrest for school next year. I have an idea of what I am called to do but I don't know how to go about it, which is slightly difficult.

After the Ambrose visit we went to Medicine Hat to visit my grandparents. My grandpa, who just had surgery was looking a little thinner than how I remembered him but it seems he is doing pretty good which was great.

Last night two of my friends, -James and Travis- along with my brother watched Inception. I was a complete fan. I find dreams so interesting, and it was a little bit of a mind thriller. Plus, I find dreams so fascinating and they highlighted some basic facts of our dreams that I had never consciously recognized before.

It has been so good to be back and see everybody again, and it was good to go home to my home church. On that note, my mom as of late loves to volunteer me for things it seems. Last time she volunteered me it involved me riding a big bike with ladies mostly 30+. I don't mind, but it does make me laugh. So this year my church decided instead of having a Christmas play because our Sunday School children numbers are getting too low, we did a Night in Bethlehem instead. They decorated the whole church basement to transform it into Bethlehem including a Carpentry, Painting, Candy, Leather, and Bake Shop. Along with a stable. I was volunteered to run the Painting Shop. I did it, not an incredible job or anything, but I got it down, my pastor on the other hand, was hilarious. He really got into the biblical times character. One of my lines was, "I just sold two wooden ornaments to two men talking about a prophecy of a Saviour in Bethlehem. A Saviour? What would anyone need to be saved from? What is this Messiah they are waiting for?" For some reason the line, 'what would anyone need to be saved from?' stuck out to me. I think that is a question that is common in North America. We live comfortable lives, we don't think we need anything, so what would we need to be saved from? It was a pretty good night, I think there was around 100 people who came.

This break to be honest, it has been really refreshing and relaxing but very frustrating. I feel like I haven't changed and if I have changed, I have fallen into old habits. Some moments here have been good, while others have been rather crummy. This time though has been an eye-opener to things I was blind to at home, but also great time to contemplate a lot of things, which I am thankful for.

Lastly, I would like to note that the night I came home I went through a cleaning frenzy with my room. I got rid of some stuff/junk/clothes. My time at Kaleo has made me realize that I am too attached to material possessions. It is a work in progress, but it is a start.

Chapter 12:Everything the Light Touches Is Our Kingdom

Well, let me just say that Friday was probably one of the hardest chapels we have had so far.Four people have decided with good reasons to not come back next semester while two others are still deciding. With every person that told us that they are leaving my eyes seemed to water more and more. As I looked around I could tell the rest of Kaleo felt the same way. It was definitely hard but it is not a goodbye, but a sending off.

I felt like it was the end of the first Lord of the Rings movie, The Fellowship of the Ring. I know this sounds beyond cheesy, but I did just recently watch all three of the movies, so bear with me. But I felt like we, as Kaleo, were the Fellowship of the Ring, and when each person revealed that they were leaving it made me think that the Fellowship was broken. In the movie they all went different ways and in one case, someone died-luckily this wasn't a case of people dying, but definitely a lot of people leaving. I do remember though that all of them meet each other again, they took different paths but their purpose was the same. It is the same with Kaleo, some of us may be taking a different path but our purpose still remains the same. Our purpose is to build the Kingdom of God and follow his ways, it is just a different process, but same result.

As well, we had our Kaleo Christmas on Monday morning! It was so joyful and wonderful. We did a 'Secret Santa' gift exchange. I had Erik Karklins and my room mate, Anna M. had me. I didn't even suspect her! It was an incredible Christmas, I loved our time together, it was really sad because it is probably the last time we will all be together as Kaleo.

So now I sit at my dad's aunties place in Airdrie (near Calgary) for the night and tomorrow I will be going home officially. It has been an incredible semseter, and as I look back I can really see God's hand in everything. I can't wait to see what happens next semester!

I ask that you pray that I have a refreshing time at home and reconnect with family and friends. I also ask that I would be a light to my community and be bold about my faith.

Chapter 11: Fake Stars in the Sky

Bonjour!
Well... the semester is coming to a close, only a little over a week left. The class was really great. The class: Church Ministry. I learned a lot like elders are pastors are elders, haha. Actually we discussed things too like the emerging church, spiritual gifts, social activism, stewardship, and giving. I really liked the giving part since I am really trying to learn to not be possessive of my stuff, and especially on my consumerism. It is weird how the book Crazy Love which I just finished talked about that too. Coincidence? I think not.
On another note, this week we went to the Festival of Lights in Ladysmith. So much fun! I absolutely loved it. The fireworks were right above us, and they filled the sky. It was so sweet! I felt like a little kid again. The only downside was that we were rained on by firework ashes, haha. The parade was really good too, I think we were the loudest group there.

That is all.

Well I just finished the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I felt so convicted afterward but also so on fire and impassioned! I almost felt like getting up and leaving Kaleo to go do something, but I know I am meant to be here this year to be better equipped to do just that sort of thing. There was a certain part of the book though that my heart just completely cried out:
"I'm writing this in April 2007, and the news about the three martyrs--Tilman, Necati, and Ugur-- is still fresh. I can't get them out of my mind. They were tortured for three hours in ways that I didn't know were humanly possible. I'll spare you the details, but it was repulsive and horrific. I think of how they must have looked at each other while being tortured with stares that said, "Just hold on a little longer. Don't deny Him! It'll al lbe worth it.""
That story for some reason stirred my heart, I actually got really teary-eyed. Maybe it is because I know that story all too well. I met people while in Turkey who knew those men first hand and knew their wives. To think what they endured and that they endured it for Christ. They were like the martyrs from that same land of Asia Minor. History seems to repeat itself. I just wonder where God wants me to go and what he wants me to do...

Chapter 10: On a More Personal Note

Well, as of right now, I am sitting in my Church Ministry class during one of our breaks. I am actually so excited for this course! I really want to be able to help and learn about the church. We are doing topics like spiritual gifts, elders, leadership roles, etc. Definitely thrilled, and the professor David Ernst, seems really great and down to earth.
So what happened this week, well, I could type it all out and tell you, or I could just copy and paste what I put on the Kaleo blog:
"In the last week we have had a considerable amount of snow, which is apparently an abnormality for Crofton. Quite beautiful.
As in other news, we have just finished our Hermeneutics paper at 5:30 this evening. How joyous a time! Not really. It is always interesting to see people staying up late... or not staying up at all but rather pulling an all-nighter... Sarah. haha.
What else have we done... Oh! We had our DTG this week. And if you have no idea what that means, like I did, it means Ditch the Guys/Ditch the Girls. Sorray Guys! But ya, the girls went to Victoria to the Parkers' house while the boys went to Nanaimo for swimming and Jim's later for steaks. Yum."
Also, on the weekend Mary, Mike, Janet and myself went to the Cowichan Tribe 2nd annual craft fair, I bought some sweet and crazy bear-paw bead earrings, so cool! And I saw my first totem pole which is strange since I live near the City of Totems and hadn't seen one yet... except that really tall one in Victoria.
Hm... well this week definitely had its time of frustration. I found out that so many people want to leave Kaleo. It is so discouraging. I just wish that these people would realize that they are meant to be here no matter how they feel right now. Christianity is not about feelings. I just wish they could see that God has a plan for them to be here and that they will grow from this year. In other frustrations, at the night of our DTG I felt completely convicted that I wasn't being personal and connected to God. So that night I poured out my heart to God and to be honest, I felt so much better, like a burden had been lifted and I just felt this feeling that I am not even able to describe. Now, I have taken a more personal note with my prayer life, and it has definitely been such a huge improvement, I feel renewed.
I finished two of my pre-course work books for Church Ministry. What So Amazing About Grace? by Phillip Yancey and Why We're Not Emergent By Two Guys Who Should Be by Kevin Deyoung and Ted Kluck. Both very good reads, I learned a lot from them. At first, I did not like the Why We're Not Emergent book, I thought they were jerks, but by the end I saw a kinder note.
Well that is all for this week. Bye-bye for now!
P.S. At the DTG at Kristine's place in the morning I went out to the dock -they live right on the sides of the bay so they have their own dock- to feed the swans with Nicki, Kristine's sister. It was so much fun! They ate right out of my hand and... I touched a duck! He didn't even see it coming.

chapter 9: Walking in a Winter Wonderland

Merhaba.
This week was our 24/7 week of prayer. I had never done one before, I was a prayer intercessor for the conference I went to in Turkey but this was a lot different. The room was decorated with writing of heartfelt cries, prayers and thoughts from us, along with some ambient lighting and cushions. It had just this captivating feeling to it when I walked in the room. Every day each of us or most of us would pray for an hour each. I took the 7-8 in the morning shift.... every morning, except for the last, I accidentally slept in.... sorray Janet! I found that my prayer time was refreshing and I definitely felt challenged. I feel like my faith is too stagnant. I feel like God is challenging me to let go of the things in life, especially my possessions, and to realize that it is Him working through my life, not my own workings. During our chapel time a lot of us shared our testimonies, and they were so good to hear! So many of them had really great stories, and it helped me understand them better.
Anyways, it snowed on the Island this weekend! I realized that I actually like winter... I never thought I did. It gives me excuse to bundle up and then drink tea and hot chocolate when I get inside and sit by a fireplace... even though we don't have on here, yet. The Brazilians were so excited to see snow, they were rather fanatic, but it was enjoyable to see them marvel at the white stuff fall from the sky. Today me and two of my friends -Erik and Mike- went for a walk to the guest house. If you are curious, the guest house is this very beautiful, 1912, two-story house where our professors and guests of Qwanoes can stay. It is so gorgeous how all the snow has blanketed the branches, ground, and houses. Whilst on our walk we met... Barkley! Barkley is Jim's dog. So we played with him for awhile and such. It was really good to actually go for a walk. We have such beautiful surroundings here and I feel we barely use them.
I would also like to notify everyone that I finished my first college essay! It was for OT Lit and I did it on David's success as a great king not being based on himself but on God. It was actually really great, and I learned so much. So I decided to keep it a little shorter this week. Have a great week! As for my week, I am doing homework, having a DTG -Ditch The Guys- and we are going to go to Ladysmith for a Christmas light festival... pretty excited.

Chapter 8: Grace Melts Ungrace

Well hello once again!

So this week we did our Hermeneutics class with Merrill Dyck. I wasn't too excited going into the course, I am more of a humanities type of person, but it was really good. I learned so much, and it is hard to explain it, but it definitely challenged me to delve more deeply into the Bible and see what every word, verse, chapter and book is trying to communicate to the intended reader but also, me. On Wednesday night... I think it was Wednesday, we went to the Chemainus theatre for a Christmas Carol, for such a small theatre, it was really good!

Again, I worked this weekend at Qwanoes for a full weekend but in the dish pit. I think there was 160 campers and over 20 staff... but don't know how many; it was the Sr. High Retreat. It wasn't really a full weekend for me though, which I feel a little bad about. I got sick and had a fever on Thursday night, right before the retreat started. So I phoned Mel -the awesome gal who organizes the staff and such- and told her my situation. She told me they were short on staff so I had to work but try to give me some rest. I only had to work lunch on Saturday and on Sunday for breakfast and lunch. I was so blessed! Even though, it was hard work for me, but thankfully my fever broke mostly by Saturday. I was really exhausted by the end, but it actually was still a weekend full of lessons. It gave me a new appreciation for the dishwasher here at Qwanoes and even back at LBC. There is so much work to do! I didn't mind working the dish pit though, I am starting to realize here that I really like serving others, and doing dishes is one of them!

So lastly I will talk a little about a lesson in grace and forgiveness I learned just last night. Last night I was talking with two of my friends and they had a different view point on the subject than I did. But I felt like through the whole conversation that I was being completely bashed, and I came walking away from that conversation feeling completely miserable -and crying to my roommates, haha. This wasn't the first time this had happened with my one friend, and I'll be frank, I was so fed up with it already. I was telling myself that I would not talk to that person again, and avoid having conversations with them, but then the words forgiveness and grace came to mind. Grace and forgiveness come hand in hand, I was reading that from a chapter in Yancey's book What's So Amazing About Grace? I came back to reality. Strange as it was for me, I forgave that person right there and then, and shrugged it off. The best part is, the story doesn't end there! My friend was pointed out on what happened by someone else, and today they wrote me a 'cute note' apologizing and wanting to talk about it. We talked about everything and both of our feelings, and I would like to say, the whole thing is rather resolved. :) And Jim with his rock tumbler analogy, -about us clashing together to make us 'smooth stones'- was right once again!

Also this week is our 24/7 week of prayer, so there will always be someone praying in our prayer room that was created for the week. I am excited but also nervous, and if you have any prayer requests just text, e-mail, call or facebook me. I would gladly pray for you.

Chapter 7: You Are Ever So Faithful

Well hello people!
I apologize ahead of time, this may be a very long blog post.... sorry!
So we will start with my mission choice as you might be interested. So I went with -drum roll please-.... Vancouver and the Island! And I would like to clarify NOT North Vancouver but rather East Vancouver, haha, I keep wanting to say North Vancouver, definitely not my intention, and very opposite of East. So now I will explain how I came to this decision. When we first introduced to our options I was most intrigued by India and Vancouver, but I was definitely torn between the two, and then when I learned we only had a week to decide I was thinking How is God going to reveal which trip I should go within a week?! I actually was really doubtful, like God wouldn't answer my prayers. So I did pray a few times, and I was still completely divided. Then, the one day I decided to just go to the dock with my Bible and read, pray and contemplate, -I really contemplating. As I was sitting on top of the tower I pulled out the church bulletin from that Sunday because I had slipped it behind my Bible cover. I decided to look over thinking I might find some 'inspiration' from it, and on the first page there was a family bio, and there favourite bible verse was Isaiah 40:27-31 which is:
"Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God”?
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint. "
As I was reading it, I thought, well that really doesn't help me at all, so I moved on. I did some leisurely reading, praying, and I just sat there thinking and taking in the view. As I was thinking I was kind of thinking of the reason and reasons not to go to each place and where I was here at Kaleo. As I have said before, I want to be challenged, and I definitely put that into thought. I thought Vancouver was a great option because I would be able to do mission work within our own country. I think that Christians really skip over doing missions within our own country, we go to other countries to do missions to get the experience, culture, the fact that we go to another country, and I think even souvenirs can come into play. And I have done that before, I have gone to Turkey and Mexico, and they were definitely great mission trips, I learned so much, but I think it was my turn to do something within the borders of my own country. India sounded incredible and the stories of things that happened there really impassioned me, and while I was in social studies in high school I learned so much about India like the ever-increasing birth rate, the sex slaves, and the caste system which I was passionate about. To be honest though, I think I would have been going to India for the wrong reasons, more just for the experience and to say that I went there. I really wanted to go there and felt like if I didn't go, I would be missing out. One reason I didn't want to go to Vancouver is because I don't think I can relate to them, I have grown up in a small town in Saskatchewan, with a great family and community, and I am such a shy person at first and I am not a great comforter in my opinion. It is then that I realized how relevant Isaiah 40 was to me. God can give me the tools I need to accomplish this. I don't know if this is from the Bible directly or I heard it from a speaker, but God can use us the best when we aren't previously equipped ourselves so that all glory can be given to him and we can depend on him. I am pretty sure that was my deciding factor, but there was something inside of me that didn't want to go to Vancouver, I thought that I wouldn't get the awesome and exciting experience of Argentina or India. But I made my decision despite my selfish nature nagging at me. Also, for the Vancouver trip we will be working here on the Island for a time too, probably helping out with Kidstown. Which is so great because God has really put it on my heart to be able to take part in that ministry, and I am learning so much of the condition of the Aboriginal people and having my viewpoint completely changed. I was definitely still doubting my decision and if it was the best but on Friday I talked to my pastor, PJ and my mom on the phone and they both confirmed through two different conversations that they thought that this was the best choice to make, which I am so thankful that God was able to give me assurance in my choice.
Alright, so onto the next subject. Well during reading break all I pretty much did was homework, but the one day we went to Victoria to help out SALTS. I'll be honest, even though we did stuff like cleaning, trying to hang up life-jackets, and folding up sails, it was actually really good, I wouldn't particularly use the word fun, but maybe one step below that. The lovely Jordana, one of my Kaleoites, invited us -the Kaleos working on the SALTS thing- to go to a Watoto presentation at a church in Victoria. Watoto is an organization in Uganda that deals with war victims, and this tour was specifically about previous child soldiers. I have been involved with an organization called Invisible Children that is involved with child soldiers in Uganda, and I have been trying to always keep up to date with the LRA and what is going on there, but I sometimes fall behind and lose my vigor. So this event I was really excited for. I've always been passionate about Invisible Children and child soldiers but to see these children and hear their accounts first-hand was so different and real. For most of the presentation I was either crying in joy or from experiencing their pain. I remember the one part where they did a re-enactment of the LRA invading a village, my mind just kept screaming this is so unfair, why should they have to experience this? Overall this experience was incredible, and it really actually revealed and made me realize more my passions. I remember the one lady said 'forgiveness is the anti-venom', and to see these children forgive the LRA can only be accredited to God's grace working in their lives.
Alright, time for my last subject. So this weekend I was a counselor at the jr.high retreat at Qwanoes. I'll be frank, it was probably my worst counseling experience. I have been a Sr. Counselor for two years at LBC in Saskatchewan, but I have never had an experience like this. I think there was a few reasons why it didn't go that well 1) I wasn't able to get into the mentality of being a Kaleo student to being a counselor, during the summer since it is your job and you really don't have to think about school assignments etc. make it a lot easier 2) I know some of the Qwanoes staff but there is so many people I don't know, and at LBC I know all of the staff, and usually pretty well, which is something I need 3) I didn't fully rely on God for the first part of the weekend 4) I have had challenging campers before but I definitely found this weekend it was very challenging. 5)I went into it tired from a final exam and a lack of sleep on friday night. I would like to tell you also that there is hope for this story! It did get a lot better Saturday evening for me. I was just so fed up, tired, and I felt that I didn't have the capacity to love my campers. So I cried out to God and decided to change my attitude, and definitely that helped too. I asked God to reveal these girls to me like he sees them, to love them like he does, and it worked! I connected with my girls when we went swimming and had some shenanigans at DQ. One girl definitely was really challenging, but it was so much easier to see them and love them through how God loves them. The first half of the weekend was slight misery for me but the rest of it was actually really good, and my cabin had some really good discussion and a few of the girls really wanted to hear my testimony. I would just ask that you would pray for those girls and that God would soften their hearts, and keep working in their lives.
Well that is it! I thank you readers for those who read the whole thing in its entirety and I also apologize once again for its length. This week is our Hermeneutics course with Merrill Dyck, just to let you know.
So long and farewell!

P.S. I forget to put this on awhile ago but I saw my first, real live, wild, raccoon! I have to say though that those things are evil! I've heard such horrid stories about them and those beady, reflecting eyes!

"Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see..."

Chapter 6: Books to the Ceiling

Well another week has passed here at Kaleo, with new experiences. This week we had Don Taylor come to teach us Old Testament Literature. I really enjoyed it to be brutally honest; I am a history geek. Even though I had read all these stories before I was definitely seeing it in a new light, and how many times God's grace is evident throughout the Old Testament, which was something I had definitely missed before.
This week we had an evening chapel sort of a majig. It was based on confession. So many people shared what they had to confess, and it was really enlightening and in some ways heartwarming. After that chapel and throughout this week I have been questioning myself because so far I feel like I have barely been challenged or felt uncomfortable, and I was starting to really question myself. I came to Kaleo to be challenged, and so far I feel like I haven't. I feel like I don't have big problems compared to some, and I feel like something is wrong with me for that... well of course there is something wrong with me, I am only human. It seems I have heard so many people say that at some point they wanted to go home or leave, and I'll be honest, I am loving it here and haven't had any thought of leaving. I remembered at one point Jim told us that we really shouldn't have expectations for the year, and I am starting to see that. I was talking with some friends, and I realized maybe this year isn't meant to be a life-changing, radical, and challenging year for me filled with exponential spiritual growth. I might be here just to be in a more supporting role, learning, and growing gradually spiritually. Plus, I might be just impatient, maybe and probably God will challenge me in time. We'll have to see how the year unfolds.
As I write this I'll be honest, I am having a rough time. I feel like I am caught up in responsibility, I know what I am doing is right but I feel alone in my decisions a lot, and missing out sometimes. Also, I am really confused by friendship, I have made really great friends, don't get me wrong on that, but I feel like I haven't really connected strongly with any of the girls here yet that I can always share what is on my mind without some strain on it and just always be able to have meaningful and deep conversations with them or just be completely fun and crazy with no inhibitions. I think this reading break is really needed for me, but I feel like there is not enough time, it is already Sunday, and Thursday we all come back together again and Tuesday we are helping with S.A.L.T.S.
On another note, I went to Salts spring Island yesterday! A few of us walked down to the ferry terminal in Crofton, took the ferry and then made our way to Ganges which is on the other side of the island. There was a little bit of a fair going on there, and we had a really delicious meal which is a nice change. Then we took a bus back to the ferry at Vesuvius. I really loved Salts Spring, so artsy and such! I bought a lot of soap... lol.
Lastly, our mission trip options have been revealed: Garwhal, India; East Vancouver + Duncan; or Argentina. I would ask that you would pray that I would be able to discern God's voice in making this decision, and put time into thinking about this. We have to make our decision by the end of the week. Thanks a bunches!

Chapter 5: When Darkness Falls

Hello once again!
Well this week was filled with a camp ministry course, some Coombs fun and good old time off. Our first few days we did a little bit of our camp ministry course with Sid Koop. I felt like I was losing passion for God and the people around me, but Sid really made me realize what I was passionate about and how God has put those things in my heart for a reason. On Wednesday we went to Coombs and did some shopping along with spelunking (when you go caving), which was pretty crazy! When your in the caves and if you shut off your lights, there is no light at all, it is completely black, there is no way your eyes can adjust to the dark. It really made me think of light and darkness when it comes to biblical terms and such and how we are the light to the world.
This weekend I served at the retreat at Qwanoes again. I served on the Friday night at Club Coco, where they later had Q-town. I stayed for a little bit of Q-town-for the worship part. It really made me miss LBC back at home, and just being a counselor. I did get to play with children though this week at Kidstown on Sunday. It rained the whole time but to be honest, it is the most fun I have had so far there, and I am starting to get to know some of the kids personally.
I am just so impassioned by the people around me, so many great things are happening in the Cowichan valley and I am so fortunate to be able to see it happen and able to partake in it. There is so many opportunities here to be the hands and feet of Jesus here.
In a way I really want to move back to the Island after Kaleo is done, sometime in my future. I just love the people and the environment here, but I really fall in love with every place I ever go to it seems, haha. I think the Island is really influencing me in my lifestyle already, I am finding myself buying fair-trade, natural and organic everything it seems, -don't worry dad, I still eat meat-, I find it rather funny.
So that is all for this week. Bon voyage!

Chapter 4: Blue Crush

This week involved another one of our out trips. We went to Tofino for a three day surf trip. It was so awesome! I'll be completely honest, I was not exciting for surfing and nervous, but the morning before we went surfing I was able to watch a little of the Coldwater Classic which is a surf competition. It actually made me excited to surf, and as it came closer and closer to go actually surfing I became more excited and less nervous. To be honest, I love surfing! I didn't stand up- I got onto my knees- but I never really tried to hard to get onto my feet. It was so much fun though, and I even enjoyed being pummeled by the waves. The first day was a little rough, and I swallowed so much saltwater, not a nice feeling. Even better, on the second day I felt like I really improved and I didn't swallow salt water once! I am really glad I was able to do it, and so glad I pushed myself to go the second day.
Anyways, at Tofino we were camped right beside the beach; so beautiful. Chasing the waves along the beach made me feel like I was fulfilling a childhood dream. One of the nights, Jim gave us time to either chat with people or have some time to ourselves. I chose some time alone. I walked along the beach and looked up into the sky. It was great time to just talk with God and slow down. I am finding it so hard it seems to have time to slow down and have solitude time.
So after our trip we came back, and lo and behold, I was serving at the Women's retreat this weekend. So I worked at the challenge course for an afternoon. I was slightly nervous having to talk to the women and such, since I am shy, but it was actually pretty easy. I didn't have any deep conversations or anything but it was good to talk a little to the women here. Oh! I also got to try out the skyscraper... 3 times! They needed an extra person to go with them so they could do the ride, so I was able to try it out. I'll admit, it is in some ways more nerve-racking than a rollercoaster.
So I again I did the Kidstown ministry through New Life. The first week was good but I found it hard to get involved. This week I found was easier and this week there was also a puppet show. I am starting to learn some of the girls' names and getting to know them, which is so exciting! I really hope that I can continually keep going to Kidstown and being able to get a glimpse into these childrens' lives.
Oh! Lastly, I don't know if I mentioned this before but I was really worried about my grandpa who was diagnosed with cancer just a few weeks ago and was going into surgery. My grandpa had a little rough patch after the surgery but he is doing so great, which I am so thankful for.
That is it!
Have a great week.
P.S. I got a gnarly rash/scar thing on my neck because of my wetsuit during surfing, it looks like someone tried strangling me!

Chapter 3: Nautical Knots

Ahoy!
Well this week was based on an adventure at sea. The Kaleo crew sailed with a group called SALTS on the Pacific Grace for 5 days. You may wonder how big this vessel must have been to be able to fit the whole Kaleo crew plus the SALTS crew (which numbered 5 people), well this Pacific Grace was 115' in length and.. really tall. I learned a few crazy and awesome knots, and also where the stern is and the bow, and which side is port and which is starboard, but also some more crazy terms like broad reach, booms, or binnacle. We slept and ate down below along with the galley (kitchen) and two heads (bathrooms). It was such close quarters to everyone but I loved every minute of it -other than when I was tired... or had a headache. We also had to do night watch with one other person during the night... obviously, haha.
It was great time to just chat one on one with people and get to know them better. I found that this trip was really a time for us as Kaleo to grow closer and get to know each other better, and I can say now I consider everyone my friend, not just an acquaintance anymore. I really love the community of Kaleo too, it is so open, trustworthy, and non-judgemental where we can share our lives and ideas with one another.
As for thanksgiving, I spent it with the few people -I think around 8- who didn't go home for thanksgiving. They are now my adopted family while I am on the Island, actually the whole Kaleo and Qwanoes staff is. But we went to Duncan last night for supper and had a few thrift store and deer-hitting accident adventures along the way. Also this Sunday I went for the first time to Kidstown that is a program run by New Life and is on Boys Row on a reserve in Duncan. I totally loved the children, they are so excited to play with you and just chill. In some aspects the children and the environment reminded me of Mexico, which for the most part is not good. I had never experienced the reserves like that before, but it doesn't seem right that people should be living like that in a nation like Canada. I really hope I can go every Sunday and get to know this kids. One of the leaders of the group said something along the lines that in our Kaleo classes when our profs talk about the kingdom of God, well we had just witnessed, right on that piece of cement on Boys Row.
Oh! And did I mention that I am a junior sailor? No big deal or anything, (I'll be using that on my resume from now on). Haha.
Until next time!

Chapter 2: We are Responders

Well hello once again!
It has been another crazy and full week here at Kaleo, and definitely a spiritual and emotional roller coaster.
This week was my first college class! Our professor was Cal Macfarlane, and he taught us our Spiritual Formation class. Anyways, this course changed how I look at my spiritual walk. I will be completely honest, I thought I was doing pretty good in my faith, but this week has definitely opened my eyes, and really has taught me humility which is something I have been asking God to teach me. I realized that I was missing out on some very fundamentals parts to my faith like softness of heart, and gratitude to God. Also strangely I was able to work on embracing suffering and knowing that I am not abandoned during hard times. Just the beginning of this week I was told by my grandma and my mom(via telephone conversation) that my grandpa had a tumor. This is/was a devastating blow, it was one of my greatest fears come true. But strangely, even though I am incredibly sad I had this strange peace over me which can only be from God.
Something else we did with our Spiritual Formation was a day or solitude and fasting. It was a time for us just to spend time with God; no distractions. For me, it was a time of relaxation and refreshment. I spent most of the day under a tree that was by the docks. At points I became frustrated with myself because I would lose concentration and think of other things. It was probably right after during one of these time I cleared my mind and started praying. I decided to try out Psalms but as I was flipping my way through, the word clay popped up- clay was something that Cal had used pretty often as an analogy. So out of curiousity, I stopped. I read the verse but it seemed incomplete to me, so I decided to read the whole chapter. It was Job 38. It spoke so strongly to me. It is hard to put in words the emotions that I felt when I read it but they were something along the lines of awe, humility, joy, etc. During the solitude time I was also able to think over my grandpa situation, and really just put it into God's hand, and really feel the peace of God.
Alright, so one last thing. Qwanoes does a road tour to connect with campers from the summer and just to invite other kids to hang out. On Saturday night most of the Kaleoites went to it, along with myself. It was actually pretty sweet, and it was a glimpse to see what the summers look like at Camp Qwanoes. It made me think a little bit about LBC back at home, and the kids there that I worked with through the summer.
Adios amigos!

Chapter 1:New Beginnings

Hey everybody, it's Lynnea!
Well to first start off it has been incredible so far. I can't wait to see what this year and God has for me. It is crazy to think I am finally at Kaleo! When I think of this year the word challenge always seems to come up, and that is exactly what I want. I want to be challenged in my faith and stretched spiritually. So this week was really a week of meeting my new fellow Kaleoites, and I love them all in their own unique ways.
Yesterday we just got back from a rather intense three day hike in Strathcona Park. The mountain we intended to climb was Mount Albert Edward, but sadly due to a few factors we weren't able to make it to the very top. The experience though of just making it to the point we did was incredible. At one point, when we were taking a break the clouds cleared to reveal a series of valleys and mountains, it was so beautiful. It made me just think of how creative and splendid of a creator we have.
It may sound strange but the trip made the Bible and the analogies I have heard my whole life come a little more alive and real to me. At one point, my group had taken a wrong turn and didn't even know it. We were pretty happy about it- beautiful meadows, streams, and boardwalks. Then, to our dismay we learned that we had taken the wrong path. After awhile on the right path we realized there was a large difference from the previous path. This path was rugged, muddy, and not a boardwalk to be seen. I came to an analogy of life while walking on our rugged path. The path that leads you in the right direction will not be as scenic, or as easy, and the wrong will seem easier and will be more beautiful and gratifying to our senses, but only one path will get you to the destination.
Jay, our leader for my group on the hiking trip challenged us to pick a memory verse to represent my year. I picked Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build up, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." It may be not really a verse necessarily, but more a passage, but it seems to speak so strongly to me. I am excited to see how this verse will shape my year.