Like A Tree- Autumn Johnston and Alana Schmidt

A beautiful song, done by a friend.

I Want to Be a Nun

Okay, not quite. But it does have its moments of being enticing. If you think this will be a rant of how there is no great men in this world, think again. It is not about that -Briercrest has many incredible guys here, but sorry to say, I will not be going into that. This is about monastic living.

In my History of Christianity class we have learned about numerous monastic movements in the Western and Eastern church. When I was first confronted with monasticism in my readings -which was the Desert Fathers- I did not agree with them. This early monasticism consisted usually of living days in solitude in a desert, and spending time meditating on God, with no to little resources. It was also usually extreme asceticism. My problem with this was there was no human interaction, or limited. We are commanded to be a light to the world (Matt. 5:14), to go out into it -and let us not forget the Great Commission! Of course, we are not of this world, but we need to be active and within it, we need to preserve it - just like salt can preserve meat from going bad. How can we spread the gospel and light of Christ if we isolate ourselves? Also, with no human interaction how can we learn to be patient, to share, or to be obedient. These can be tested without human interaction but to me, human contact can be the ultimate test. Lastly, we are not able to fulfill the many commands Jesus and Paul make -encouraging one another, forgiving, serving others etc.

Anyways, now comes Western monasticism. The Desert Fathers did have an impact of the orders that would arise but Western monasticism was different. One large difference was they lived in community with one another -even though some of the early monasticism did live in communities. They also interacted with the outside world. They wanted reform in the Church. And depending on the order, they set an example of asceticism, poverty, obedience, and submission, along other things. These monasteries became a place of rest for the weary traveller, a place of education for the knowledge seeker, and a place for the weak and sick. As well, some notable church figures -bishops, writers, and popes- came from monasteries. I am not saying these orders were completely opposite from the monasticism movement before them -or had become perfect-, but to me, they had reached a definite improvement.

You may be wondering where I am going with this, well, be patient. I am almost there. So, for my History of Christianity paper I decided to do something along the lines of Irish monasticism. In my searchings of the immense library here, I stumbled upon a book called Monk Habits for Everyday People: Benedictine Spirituality for Protestants by Dennis Okholm. I thought it sounded interesting so I decided to start reading it. It has been so nourishing, and I highly recommend it. I have learned so much from it but also it has opened my eyes. I am one who really adores the simple lifestyle -even though I am very far from it myself. The simplistic lifestyle of a monk -or it would be a nun in my case- seems so appealing in a world that has been bombarded with consumerism, materialism, and noise. These people have made God their top priority which can sometimes be so hard in the North American culture. They also have disciplined themselves, to listen more and speak less, to be humble in their abilities -but also acknowledge what they can do-, to be completely obedient to the authorities above them, and just to lay down their 'rights'. Especially those monastic orders found in North American, these rights include the fact we think we have a right to fortune and wealth because of our geographical location. It is hard to explain and I do feel like I just rambled -sorry- but to me I want to live more simply, become less distracted with the things of this world and becoming more fixing my "eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen" (2 Cor. 4:18).

"Disobedience is only illusory freedom." - Brian C. Taylor

Raw Truth.

God loves me. I am a sinner. He died for me. He has given me freedom. He is overflowing with grace and mercy. He is all powerful. He is joy. I am forgiven. I am unashamed. They are simple but yet there are times I miss the profoundness of these truths. I do not want them to get old, to grow weary of their impact in my life. I want to always look at them with a fresh regard, not dreary because I have heard them over and over. When the Lord does reveal to me these realities once again though, all I can do is be in awe and praise my Lord (and usually cry). Yet, at times I feel like to me this is just head knowledge. I want to feel these basic truths -not in the sense that it gives me an emotional high, because those can be unreliable and misleading- but to feel it to the core of my being. I want to not just confess them but to live out these basic truths in my life. What I really want is for these truths to be raw to me, every time. My question is though, 'how?' Some of them I am slowly learning to live out. First and foremost I need to take this to the Lord with prayer. Then, tell others, keep my eyes open to these truths around me and see them being lived out, and also to ask the Lord to refresh my mind in how I approach them.

Obedience

Today in chapel our Student Government president had a few great things to say but I really like how he talked about obedience. Obedience is something that has come up a few times in the last few days but also has been a matter I have been learning about.

Obedience. The obedience that a Christ follower should have should not be any mediocre form of obedience, we are called to have radical obedience. Radical obedience does not look normal to the eyes of the world, it may look foolish, or it may look like pure absurdity. I think though, that it is beautiful, it is exciting, it is invigorating. We are never called to live like this world, we are called to something more, something different. In my opinion, we are certainly not called to live the American dream. This has become animated in a few ways through my own life.

This year I was in the TESOL program at Briercrest. I thought this was where the Lord was calling me. It offered a mission aspect, the ability to teach others, the ability to support myself and the ability to travel. I also loved how integrated the Christian faith was into this program. Even though I was accepted and all else that entails, I always had a little bit of doubt in the back of my mind, but I pushed it away, ignoring it. I started taking my first TESOL class, and half way through the week -it was a modular class- I had large doubts that could not be ignored, doubts that made me want to cry. Sometimes though I would settle these doubts but would still feel not quite at peace. I wrestled with this for the majority of the week. So I talked to my program head and he suggested that maybe I needed something different, maybe a different program. This terrified me, I was registered for my classes already and had declared my major along with I had proudly told others which program I was in. I am also a person who is not impulsive and am pretty sensible, so this seemed to go against every ounce of will in my body. It all came down though to trust, trust in the Lord. He had put this restless heart in me about this program and He had different plans for me. So in that, I surrendered in obedience. I switched programs and the Lord brought together the classes I need to get into, etc. God is so good! He always knows what I need before I even glance a thought in that direction. I really enjoy the program I am in, and I have an incredible peace that has settled over me that surpasses my own understanding.

Obedience. God blesses us so greatly when we surrender and follow His will instead of our own. It may not be blessings that make sense in the world's point of view, but they are blessing nevertheless.