Chapter 27: Transatlanticism

Hello once again and maybe once more.
Well here I sit, in my last week of Kaleo.
Last week we went surfing in Tofino/Ucluelet and then when to Mt.Washington to go snowboarding for a day. Both were incredible. Of course, I got a wetsuit rash on my neck again...not as bad as last time though. I really enjoyed Mt.Washington, the snow was slushy and so lovely. Also, the Snowbirds were at Comox, and we could see them from Mt.Washington (I even saw them make a heart! How cute).

This week we went up to Mt. Washington again to the chalet we rented out previously for a retreat. It was really sweet to just hang out with everyone (since the ski hill was closed for the week, because it is only open on weekends now). I'll admit though it was rough. Really rough. I have come to realize I am so fragile, and I think I lost a best friend in the process. At least I got a poem out of it. I think though that I did need to be broken, I just feel like it wasn't the best of timing, but I know God does know what the best is for me. To me, the last few days have been pain, and hurt. I have also realized that I need freedom. I am sick of living in my sin, it has consumed me and has become an addiction for me. During our chapel at Mt.Washington we were supposed to pick a name that would help everyone remember what to pray for that person. I picked Freedom. Freedom from my sin. I know I have victory in Christ, and I can conquer my sin through Christ. I don't want to be enslaved to it any longer, I want freedom. Tomorrow, if everything goes as planned, I am going to share in detail my sin with my intern. Which will be hard, because it is something I have struggled with for years but have never told anyone. But I don't want the devil to hold this against me anymore, I want freedom. So please be praying for me.

I will try to post once more, but I don't know if I will. Saturday is our graduation, and Sunday we leave. It will be hard but in some ways I am excited to get out into the world and start being the light and salt of the world.
I will leave you with this verse and a link to a poem. The verse has made me realize that I have no reason to be bitter towards camp. It was my pride and loyalty that was causing my bitterness, and I have to realize that as a follower of Christ, I cannot hold bitterness, and my loyalty must first lie with the kingdom of God.
"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." ~Hebrews 12:15

Now for the poem, don't worry, I am fine, but I was just trying to control my emotions. So here it is:

I am fragile.

My heart a shell stranded on the seashore

Shattered by just one reckless touch

When held by human hands.

When the heart shatters,

there is nothing left to contain the tears.

When the floodgate fails it breaks forth,

with fragments of shell carried in its surge.

Tears are not precious as diamonds anymore.

By its bounty,

I sell them as dirt-cheap wares

to those who pick up my fragile heart.

Vast as an ocean,

and yet reduced to a shell on another shore.